July 3, 2018

Coffee Worth Its Weight in Gold

coffee beans
I like coffee. I've got a cup in front of me right now. I also wouldn't mind having a new car. Mine is 11 years old. While I don't really need a new one just yet, it would be awfully nice to have one. So yeah, learning that I could buy some of Christian extremist and thoroughly disgraced televangelist Jim Bakker's coffee now and then trade a packet for a new car later sounds pretty great. Of course, the catch is that I'd have to wait for the "End Times."

I'm not sure how successful Bakker has been in selling his various prepper supplies, but I suspect that he learned quite a bit during his time as a televangelist about how to separate vulnerable people from their money. It looks like he's using many of the same tactics now, and I wouldn't be surprised to learn that they are still working.
“What do you think that is worth if the sun don’t shine?” he asked. “What will it be worth if the power goes out and there’s no truck’s running [due to an] EMP bomb or whatever they’re talking about for these Last Day events? This two gallon bucket of packs of coffee, you could trade them for whatsoever you want. You could probably get a new car for one packet of coffee.”
So, I can get a new car for a packet of Bakker's coffee. I just have to be patient and wait a bit longer for President Trump to finish making America great again before those who oppose him bring about the return of the Antichrist. And then, sometime before the end of the world but after things have started to get really bad, I should be able to get my new car. Sounds good. I imagine I'd want something that would seem at home in the Mad Max films.