January 27, 2009

Believe As I Do Or Burn

Zombies as portrayed in the movie Night of the...Image via WikipediaHere's a fun follow-up to my recent post about Christians' motives for door-to-door proselytizing and an excuse to fire up my new scanner. I've told you many times about how much I despise proselytizing and the measures I have taken to prevent it, including a large "no soliciting" sign in my front yard and a "no proselytizing" decal near my door. These methods have been very effective at reducing the unwelcome knocks on my door, but that does not mean that visitors manage to refrain from leaving debris behind. Evidently, they don't stop to consider whether someone so clearly opposed to proselytizing would mind their littering on my property.

Imagine my surprise when I found this business card in my flower bed, approximately 8 inches from the base of the "no soliciting" sign!

Jesus propaganda
Pretty damn cool, isn't it? Someone thought that this threat might help convert me to his or her belief system. Fascinating!

The back of the card was blank. No phone number, no church name, no way of contacting the poor sod who left it behind to ask him or her how best to begin groveling at the feet of an imaginary deity.

Heck, I don't even know how I am supposed to accept Jesus as anything. Even if he was not merely a mythical figure as I suspect, he would be fully decomposed by now unless...no, that would make him a zombie. I may be crazy, but I'm certainly not zombie-worshiping crazy!

I guess I'll have to face him later if that is my only other choice. I have no idea how to make myself believe something I know to be false. If that means I have to wrestle a zombie, I guess I'll have to take my chances.