The question of whether atheism is a choice comes up often. Many people believe that it is a choice, including some atheists. This has long puzzled me. I've never experienced it as a choice. Not only that, but I did everything in my power to resist when the doubts first surfaced. I sought help from family, friends, and even clergy. I prayed. I re-read the Bible. I was desperate. I wanted to keep believing. I wanted to remain a Christian. None of that mattered. It all slipped away.
When I've had this discussion with others, this is what I've focused on. I've explained how I fought against it and how that didn't help. I've explained that I never chose to be an atheist but ended up one anyway. But that's only half the story. It might not even be the best illustration of why I'm not sure that atheism is a choice.