April 21, 2018

Preparing for the April 23 Rapture

The Rapture of the Church 2

I don't like saying goodbye, and I've never been particularly good at it. Problem is, I've just learned that "the Rapture" is taking place on April 23, 2018. So whether I like it or not, I guess we better start saying our goodbyes. I mean, it isn't like anyone has ever been wrong about predicting this sort of thing, right?

I suppose we atheists won't immediately disappear into the sky like all the Christians around us. We'll get to linger around a bit longer to be tormented by assorted monsters and so on. I imagine I'll be pretty lonely here in Mississippi after more than 90% of the people are raptured. In contrast, those of you living in Vermont might not notice much of a difference when all the Christians disappear.

I know it is tempting to mock the Christians who keep predicting the end-of-the-world and the return of Jesus. I'd have to agree that some degree of mockery probably is warranted. They make it so damn easy. I'm just not sure it makes sense to single out those who claim to know the date for mockery and give a pass to those who just keep predicting that it will happen "soon" like Christians have been doing for as long as there have been Christians. I mean, how long does this imminent return of Jesus charade have to go on before we grow up and move on?

I predict that April 23 will come and go without incident just like every one of these failed predictions has. And on the off chance that I'm wrong and all the Christians really are raptured away on April 23, I have a plan for how to entertain myself in what will seem like a ghost town. I'll enjoy driving several of the cars the local Christians leave behind at excessive speeds on empty roads. I believe I'll start with the new Camaro my neighbor just bought.