March 28, 2011

Send in the Super Christians!

Super ChristiansAs the situation continues to worsen in Japan, with higher radiation levels and no clear solution in sight, I wonder if it might be time to try something a bit unconventional. A team of 50 American Christians could be assembled, trained, and sent to Japan to fix the reactors. Their god would protect them from radiation, allowing them to work unencumbered by protective gear, and nobody would have to worry about them getting sick.

Of course, not just any Americans Christians would do. Those selected for such a dangerous job would have to be particularly strong in their faith - strong enough that they regularly seek to tell others about it. They would need to be right with their god by not just feeling grossed out when they see two men kiss but by really hating "teh gay" and all who are afflicted by it. They would need to be true disciples of Republican Jesus, feeling contempt for the poor and unfortunate among us.

Why would this band of super Christians be motivated to save the rest of us? They would be heroes, win adherents to their religion, and become wealthy beyond their imagination. In other words, they would be doing exactly what Republican Jesus says they should do. and when they finish in Japan, maybe they could clear up Libya.