November 25, 2008

The Jealous Atheist

Wal-Mart HermosilloImage via WikipediaIf you've read the Christian bible, you know that their god is repeatedly described as being a jealous god. I always found the notion of anything godlike being jealous of what humans thought or believed to be the height of absurdity, but this does not seem to bother those who claim to believe in such a god. Maybe being jealous is not so bad after all. In fact, I happen to be seriously jealous at this very moment. In fact, I am coveting someone else's property in the worst way.

Who am I jealous of, and what is the object of my coveting? I am jealous of fellow atheist blogger, Dubito Ergo Sum, for obtaining what has to be one of the coolest pieces of Americana I've seen in a long time.
Yep, a talking Jesus action figure found in the clearance section at Wal-Mart. I know what you're thinking - why would any self-respecting atheist even consider owning one of these, much less paying for it? I don't know what to tell you except to say that it is taking every bit of self-control I have not to get in the car and head for Wal-Mart right now.

Sure, there's the fun that could be had from posing the figure in all sorts of poses and take pictures which could be posted here to entertain you. I'll admit that this is appealing. But I think it is also about the horrified look on the faces of those who know me when they see me with something like this. Could there be a better decoration for my office?

Back in college, I was very open about my atheism to the point where anyone who knew me, even casually, knew my thoughts on religion. During this time, I found some of the ugliest Jesus candles you can possibly imagine at a flea market for $1 each. I bought as many as I could carry and littered my apartment with them. My friends thought I was crazy, and the believers who came over were never sure what to make of it.

Yes, I know I have a sickness - some sort of strange addiction to finding the most repugnant Jesus crap out there. Maybe my jealousy of Dubito Ergo Sum is a symptom. Still, I suppose it means that I am more godlike than I previously thought.