Morons Turn Out For Miracle Tree

acacia tree

No, that isn't a typo. I didn't mean Mormons, although I suppose the two aren't mutually exclusive. Instead, I'm referring to the hundreds of morons gathering around a tree in South Texas because they think they are seeing a miracle.

According to The Dallas Morning News (update: link no longer active), "hundreds of people" are coming to visit an acacia tree to witness what they believe are formations of "supernatural ice" on the branches. Never mind the hot Texas sun - surely this is a miracle!

Both insect and tree experts say that the white substance is most likely "a spittlebug nest," but the believers will not be deterred from their miracle. They think the tree is crying supernatural tears because the substance was first observed the day after they buried a family member. Yep, that proves it. The experts must be wrong.

"We feel like that tree is now missing her," her daughter, Mary Lou Sanders, said. "Where it's coming from, I do not know. It is something I cannot explain."

Really? You can't explain it? It doesn't seem like those knowledgeable about trees and insects had much difficulty. Perhaps you should consider listening to them. When your television breaks, do you take it to someone who knows how to repair it or just assume that it must have been a demon? Actually, don't answer that. Your answer might lead me to be even more depressed at the state of our educational system than your miracle tree has!

I'm not going to argue that religion causes idiocy or that idiocy causes religion (although I doubt I'd argue with either claim). Instead, I'm content to say that religious belief and idiocy enjoy a reciprocal relationship, helping to maintain each other against the terrible threat of reality.