September 2, 2007

Accused of a Crime? Christian? Don't Worry.

Being accused of a crime is no picnic, especially if it looks like you're probably guilty. You're screwed, right? Not necessarily. If you are religious enough, there are at least three things you can do which might help. And even if they don't help, they will entertain the rest of us. After all, that has to be worth something.
  1. Announce that you've found Jee-zuhs. Rational folks may see this tactic for what it is, but you may fool some of the people who actually believe this nonsense.
  2. Blame Satan. I know, it is hard to believe that this could be taken seriously in our modern world. Still, this can earn you points with an audience not used to thinking critically.
  3. Grab someone's junk. This will probably make things worse for you, but you'll be able to provide the rest of us with the joy of seeing "scrotum" in the title of some news articles.