|Denver Art Museum - Wheel: Overlays (Photo credit: Brian Papantonio)|
Here's the situation: we have a 17 year-old being forced to attend church and told that he belongs to a particular religion by his parents. He's wondering whether this is legal (I suspect that it is) and has raised questions about what any of us can do to prevent other children from having to endure similar experiences in the future.
Since that is all I feel at liberty to disclose about him, I will tell you that I went through something similar at a younger age and use myself to say what I want to say. I'm just going to come out and say it - this is abusive. I realize that our society and our legal system does not currently recognize it as such, but this is abusive! A child should have the right to be secure in his or her own mind, and this sort of imposed religion violates that right.
I endured a few years of mandatory church attendance. When I tried to explain my doubts to my parents, literally begging not to have to accompany them to church, I was dragged there anyway, threatened with all sorts of punishments if I refused. It wasn't just that it was boring; it felt horribly wrong. I didn't believe this stuff, and I didn't want to pretend otherwise. I'd been taught that it was important to be true to myself and that freedom was an important value on which my country was founded. There was nothing free about this, and I'm not exaggerating when I say that sitting through church week after week against my will made me feel dead inside. It made me question who I was, and it would take me years to find an answer.
I know my parents meant well. We've finally been able to talk about it - sort of - many years later. But, and it really pains me to admit this to myself, our relationship has never quite recovered. Man, it really hurts to admit that.
Now the question is what we can do, if anything, to protect other children from this sort of torment. I'm a bit too emotional at the moment to think about this clearly right now, so I'm going to have to come back to this question in a later post.
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